Dream Wrestling Federation Season’s Beating PPV
Mike Polowy vs. “You Call It” Champion Cool Cancer Jiles
The fans in the arena pipe up as the lights begin to dim and the opening rock riff to Muse’s ‘Yes Please’ pours through the sound system. There is an abrupt chorus of jeers and boos as Hostility’s patron saint, ‘The Mike Effect’ Mike Polowy, steps out from behind the curtain and onto the ramp. MPlow flexes a bicep, before slapping himself several times on the chest and pointing towards the ring. Smirking, he takes a cocky, casual stride down to the ring, carefully hopping up the ring steps, ducking under the second rope and sauntering into the ring.
“Coming to the ring, from Philadelphia Pennsylvania, Mr. Cool…. Cancer Jiles!”
A chorus of boos rains down the from the DWF faith full as CCJ struts to the ring. He taunts the fans, who have developed a fine love to hate you relationship with the superstar. Upon arrival, Cool Cancer Jiles slides under the bottom rope then climbs up the turnbuckles. He reciprocates the fans appreciation of him, flipping them off a couple of times before finding in his final resting place; a seat atop the third turnbuckle. He stays perched there, awaiting the bell.
“You Call It Championship Match folks! Under ‘COOL Championship’ rules there are no rules to how this match will take place. The topic of discussion though is the clause in Mike Polowy’s contract that states that he can not be egged by The Bandits. A ‘COOL’ stipulation is if Cancer Jiles wins, he gets to egg the loser.”
As both men stretch, the bell sounds.
“We’re under way, what a title match this will be!”
Mike Polowy challenges Cancer Jiles to a test of strength.
“Jiles reluctant, but accepts the challenger’s offer.”
As they grasp hands, both men begin pushing. Polowy begins to overpower Jiles.
“Mike Polowy gaining control, wait, no… now Cancer putting all he has into it.”
Polowy begins to lean back as Cancer takes the lead. Suddenly, Mike breaks the lock up with a boot to Cancer’s stomach, followed by a rising knee to his face. The fans begin to boo as Jiles hits the mat.
“Mike Polowy taking the low road, catching the champion off guard.”
He bends down and grabs Cancer’s head, pulling him to his feet.
“Mike Polowy forces Jiles into the corner. He raises back, big chop. Another.”
Mike grabs the top rope for leverage.
“Furious stomps by Mike Polowy to the champion.”
Cancer falls to a sitting position as Polowy continues to stomp.
“Mike Polowy wanting to make a statement tonight as he goes for the ‘You Call It’ Championship.”
Mike yanks Cancer up with force, grabs his left arm, and sends him so hard across the ring that he falls to the mat as Cancer bounces off the ropes with authority. Polowy lunges up with a clothesline that seems to have been meant to take Cancer’s head straight off.
“My lord what a clothesline by Mike Polowy!”
He walks around and stands over Jiles, who is face down. Polowy reaches down and grabs both of Cancer’s legs, pulling them up. He struggles a bit, but is able to dangle Cancer upside down. He steps over his left arm, then his right. The fans are on their feet in disbelief as Mike Polowy is about to end the match.
“Polowy is about to go for the win right now as he sets up The Mike Effect.”
As he re-arranges himself, Cancer wraps his arms around Mike’s calves. He begins to struggle. Polowy attempts to regain full control but can’t.
“Jiles fighting it!”
Cancer begins to pull with his legs around Mike’s neck, and finally does it.
“Cancer Jiles uses his legs to bring Polowy down!”
Mike is flipped over, forward, and to the mat. The fans pop. Cancer is obviously disoriented as he rolls over to the edge of the apron and lays, in pain, halfway hanging out of the ring.
“I have never seen anyone counter The Mike Effect like that in all of the years I have followed Mike.”
Mike continues to roll, holding his head from a hard landing.
“Simply amazing.”
We get a replay of the counter.
“Polowy, using the ropes to pull himself up now.”
He looks around and sees Cancer hanging halfway out of the ring. He runs over to the ropes, grabs onto the top and looks out to the crowd.
“What is Mike Polowy planning on doing?”
He uses the ropes to lunge himself up and over, throwing his legs out in the air. As he comes down with a leg drop across the neck of Cancer, he hits the side of the apron wrong himself, and then hits the floor on the outside awkward. The fans begin chanting ‘Holy shit’.
“My God! Mike Polowy just went air born!”
Cancer sells the hell out of the leg drop as he flops around on the mat, gasping for air. On the outside officials are checking on Polowy.
“I think Mike Polowy may have just injured himself folks.”
We see a replay where Mike hits the apron wrong then the floor even worse.
“You never like to see this is our sport.”
A referee stands up and makes the ‘X’ sign with his arms.
“I haven’t seen Mike move, this can’t be good.”
More officials begin down the ramp, behind them a stretcher comes.
“This match looks to be over as they are bringing a stretcher out for Mike Polowy.”
The crowd is almost at a hush as the fans stand, trying to see if Mike is OK. We get more replays of the blotched landing.
“They are carefully moving Polowy to the stretcher. We still have no official word on what exactly is wrong. However, the way he landed it could quite be a career ending injury.”
While they strap Mike to the stretcher, protecting his neck, Cancer uses the ropes and pulls himself up in the ring.
“Cancer Jiles making his way up, I don’t think he knows what is going on.”
He walks over and looks outside of the ring at Polowy on the stretcher. Cancer climbs the turnbuckle to get a better view from above.
“Jiles can’t believe that it’s over already.”
He looks out to the crowd then down to Polowy. He begins yelling to the crowd, getting them pumped.
“Cancer Jiles trying to get the fans behind him, but why?”
All of a sudden, he shows us why. He yells down and the officials look up. Cancer points down at Polowy.
“He isn’t?!”
Then Cancer leaps, with the perfect five star frog splash. The officials all jump out of the way as Cancer lands through Polowy, breaking the stretcher in two. The arena roof is blown off by the fans.
“HE DID!”
We get replays from several angles then go back live, to see Cancer roll in pain as Polowy is in obvious agony. Cancer rolls over and uses the side of the ring to pull himself up. Blood trickles down his arm.
“It looks like Cancer Jiles’ arm was cut open slightly on a broken piece of that stretcher.”
He pushes through officials trying to hold him back and heads to Polowy who is now moving around, trying to get untangled from the stretcher straps that once binded him.
“Jiles knocks the straps away from Polowy and grabs his head, pulling him up.”
Mike is obviously hurt as you can see by the way he’s moving, but he pushes on as Cancer grabs the back of his head and directs him to the nearby announcers table.
“Whoa! Both men are right here.”
Jason Whiteside gets up and moves back as Cancer slams Mike’s head into the table. He turns him around and delivers several shots to the side of the head before rolling Polowy up on the table.
“Come on guys, not my table!”
Cancer moves up on top of the table, and picks Mike up. He places his head in a DDT hold, an throws one arm out before hitting the actual DDT. The entire table collapses.
“DDT THROUGH MY TABLE!”
The fans begin to chant ‘Holy Shit’ again.
“I can’t believe the carnage of this match. These men are putting their lives on the line tonight.”
Cancer rolls over and is able to get to his feet.
“Somehow, Cancer Jiles is able to still stand as he walks over to the fallen Mike Polowy.”
As Cancer bends down to grab Mike’s head, Polowy shoots his hand up and jabs Jiles in the eyes.
“Vicious eye poke by Polowy”
As Cancer stumbles back, holding his eyes, Mike slowly turns over and begins to push himself up. He falls over, catching the barrier, then uses it to stand completely up.
“Mike Polowy to his feet now.”
He stumbles a few feet forward. Cancer is able to regain his vision and rushes Mike. Polowy shoots forward, and in one motion grabs the bell from the time keeper’s table and swings it around and into Cancer’s head.
DING@!~
Jiles is twist all away around and falls forward to the floor. Mike drops the bell and rest for a moment.
“What a shot, and in this match under ‘Cool’ rules it is allowed!”
Polowy heads over and lifts Cancer to his feet, then directs him to the steps where he slams Cancer’s face on the top. As Cancer pops up, he turns only to get a forearm to the side of the head.
“It has been back and forward so far as these two fight for the ‘You Call It’ Championship! There are no rules to this match, however, pin falls and submissions can only be counted inside the ring. If they want to win this match, someone will need to get their opponent back in the squared circle!”
Mike grabs Cancer’s arm and whips him up the ramp. About twenty feet away his momentum slows and Cancer falls face first but is able to cushion the fall into a roll and back up to his feet. However, when he gathers himself and turns, Mike Polowy meets him with a clothesline.
“Mike Polowy wants the belt, but as I said, he needs to be heading in the opposite direction!”
Polowy grabs Cancer by the head, lifting him to his feet.
“Big right from Polowy, followed by another!”
The fans begin to boo, until Cancer throws his arm up to block Mike’s next punch attempt.
“Countered! Cancer Jiles now returning the favor!”
Cancer gives Mike his own lefts and rights, forcing Polowy backwards up the ramp and onto the stage.
“Jiles grabs Polowy’s arm, whips him!”
Mike slams into the metal beam holding the big screen up. As his stumbles back, Cancer runs towards him.
“Quick drop kick to the back of Mike Polowy on top of the stage!”
Cancer lands hard on the stage as Polowy is sent forward, head first back into that beam, then falls back to the stag himself. Files rolls over and slowly pushes himself to his feet. He limps over to Mike and pulls him up.
“Jiles has Polowy by the back of the head. He is directing him… through the curtains?!”
Both men disappear backstage.
“We need to get a camera man back there, quick!”
After a few moments, the screen changes to a camera view that is obviously from the perspective of a camera man running through the backstage. The screen is shaky. It comes to a door that suddenly bust open. Mike Polowy falls backwards through the door and Cancer Jiles enters in behind him.
“OK folks, we have a camera back on the competitors.”
Cancer heads behind Mike and grabs his head, ramming him into the nearby wall. He rams him again. After this time Mike stops the assault, grabs Cancer’s head and puts in into the wall.
“Polowy now able to get back into control. Big chop to the chest of Cancer Jiles, followed by another.”
Mike grabs Cancer in a side headlock and drags him to a door marked exit. He uses one of his free feet to kick the door, opening it, then forces Cancer to head out with him.
“It seems they have made their way to the parking lot!”
Mike tosses Cancer up on the hood of a nearby parked car. He begins giving him big punches to Cancer’s head as Jiles kicks his feet, cracking the windshield.
“Wait! That’s my rental!”
Cancer’s boot breaks the windshield more.
“I didn’t buy the insurance! NO!”
Mike climbs up on the car, and lifts Cancer up half way.
“Don’t do it Mike!”
Polowy looks as if he is going for a power bomb when Cancer lifts up, flipping him over onto the roof of the car.
“Back body drop, completely screwing me when I return the car.”
Whiteside can be heard sighing as the action continues. As Cancer slides down to the ground, he pulls Polowy off the roof. he crashes down to the ground, breaking the driver’s side mirror.
“Ah come on”
Cancer kicks Mike a few times before he grabs his head, and drags him to his feet. As Jiles directs him to the wall we get a shot of Jason’s car.
When we return to the wrestlers, Cancer is booting Polowy up against the wall again.
“The champion on the offense as… what?”
A golf cart with a DHL employee pulls up.
“I almost forgot! We where promised the verdict of the Polowy and Jiles contract dispute before the main event!”
He jumps out of the cart and heads over to Cancer.
“Sorry I’m late, they wouldn’t let me into the building.”
Cancer moves his hands trying to hurry the man up.
“Yea, yea, give me the package!”
The DHL guy looks down at it.
“I can only deliver it to a Mr. Cancer Jiles or a Mr. Mike Polowy.”
Cancer slaps his own face.
“I’m Cancer Jiles, let me have it!”
The DHL employee holds the package tight.
“Do you have a form of id?”
“WHAT?! We’re in the middle of a match!”
“Sorry sir, I must have a proper form of identification and I need your signature as well.”
“Are you an idiot?!”
Behind them, Mike is starting to get up. He uses a nearby water fountain to pull himself up while Cancer and the DHL guy argue. Polowy limps over.
“I hate to be a bother, but what the hell is going on? We’re in the middle of a damn match!”
Cancer holds his finger up.
“This guy has the verdict of our egg and no egg contract issue and he wants identification.”
Mike thinks for a moment.
“Look bud, I don’t have an ID on me and I’m sure this stupid piece of crap doesn’t either…”
“Hey!”
“Shut up Jiles.”
Cancer crosses his arms.
“But what you’re going to do is give Santa Polowy here that damn package and move your ass on.
“Sorry sir, no id, no pac…”
Mike Polowy kicks him in the gut, while pulling the package away. He then pulls his elbow up and drops it on the guy’s upper back, dropping him.
“Hurry up Polowy, open it up so I can finish kicking your ass.”
“Shut up before I scramble your ass.”
Mike rips it open and begins to read it silently as Cancer looks over his shoulder.
“After much thought and consideration it is declared that the champion’s clause to egg the losing opponent overrides the single clause of the eGG Bandits being unable to egg Mike Polowy due it being by Cancer Jiles and not the team of him and Doozer.”
Polowy rips it up.
“Shit! Not like I’m going to lose either way!”
He turns and at that moment Cancer hits a super kick.
“TERMINAL CANCER!”
Polowy stumbles a few feet back and falls, landing in the back of the cart. Cancer rushes over and jumps in it. He honks the horn and begins to drive.
“Cancer Jiles is driving the golf cart, hauling Mike Polowy!”
The cart disappears out of the camera’s view as we switch angles to show ring side. The camera angle heads up the ramp in time to see the cart burst through the curtain. the fans pop LOUD.
“HERE THEY COME!”
Cancer drives the cart all the way down and stops near the ring. He sort of trips as he exits the cart, heading back and yanking Mike Polowy off of it.
“Cancer Jiles rolls Mike Polowy in the ring, he wants to end the match now!”
Cancer heads up to the apron, and climbs the turnbuckle from the outside. Inside the ring, Mike Polowy is up. He turns to see Cancer.
“Cancer is going to fly!”
As Cancer twist around and flips backward for a moonsault, Polowy turns around quickly and steps back. Jiles soars down, head first. He is unable to make the complete flip around as Mike grabs his legs in mid flight.
“Polowy grabbed him!”
Mike quickly steps over his arms and leaps up and forward.
“THE MIKE EFFECT! MY GOD!”
The fans are on their feet booing as Polowy turns him over and covers Cancer.
“The referee is down for the count!
As he raises his hand for the three, Cancer is somehow able to put his foot on the bottom rope. The referee hits the three.
“WAIT! Mike Polowy just won! Cancer had his foot on the rope and the referee did not see it! Mike Polowy has won the ‘You Call It’ championship!”
As the referee gets up he sees Cancer’s foot.
“Wait!”
With a bunch of energy he begins to waves his arms as to say not to call the belt, and frantically begins pointing at Cancer’s boot on the ropes.
“Polowy can’t believe it!”
Mike gets up and begins to scream at the referee in his face. he yells to get him his ‘damn’ belt. The referee comes back, denying him as Cancer’s foot was on the ropes.
“The referee is calling for the match to continue! They say our zebras can’t see, but I beg to differ folks!”
As Polowy continues to yell and threaten the referee, Cancer sees an opportunity as he rolls over. He gets a burst of energy and lunges up, hooking under Mike’s leg and rolling him up.
“SCHOOL BOY PIN!”
Mike begins to kick as the referee jumps down and starts his count. the crowd is going nuts.
“HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT! CANCER JILES RETAINS!”
Cancer uses the ropes to get to his feet. The referee raises his arm. Mike Polowy is on his knees, just staring out into the crowd. Cancer’s music begins to play.
“Cancer Jiles has retained!”
