Suave’s voice: “August 23rd, 2009. The first WWR Supershow.
Suave: “JACK’S IN THE RING! HE’S GOT ONE OF THE SCHETT BRICKS.”
Escondido suddenly snaps off a spinning back kick that breaks the brick into small pieces.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP! HERE COME STARZ!…DDT! HE JUST SPIKED JACK SCHETT WITH AN EVENFLOW DDT! NOW STARZ IS UP TOP!”
He flies and splashes Bull.
Suave: “BULL GETS NAILED BY THE SHOOTING STAR JUMP. ESCONDIDO COVERS. ONE. TWO. THREE!”
Suave’s voice: “They said it couldn’t be done.
Charlene Ann: “In this corner, seconded tonight by the Dream Wrestling Federation Champion and Wednesday Wrestling Rag’s #1 rated Men’s wrestler, Level-One, and the co-holder of the DWF Tag Team belts Jak Nemesis, he is also one half of the DWF Tag Team Champions and the DWF Women’s-”
Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Suave: “I didn’t think the crowd would go along with that…”
Charlene Ann: “From Atlantic City, New Jersey, MICHAEL POLOWY!”
Another wave of loud dissonance emitted from the crowd.
Suave’s voice: “They said you couldn’t bring together wrestlers from different federations to perform in one independent wrestling card.”
Charlene Ann: “In the other corner, seconded by the WWR’s #1 ranked woman wrestler, The Hellcat, Kirsta Lewis…”
A another loud ovation greets the visiting Hellcat with the PCW regulars in the front row genuflecting to her chanting ‘we’re not worthy…we’re not worthy.’
Charlene Ann: …the WWR’s #8 ranked woman wrestler, the new Queen of Extreme, Wrestling Midwest’s Hardcore Champion, Valora Salinas!”
Crowd: “QUEEN OF EXTREME! QUEEN OF EXTREME!”
Charlene Ann: “Also seconding, the Missouri Valley Wrestling Champion and WWR’s #10 ranked woman wrestler, Miss USA!”
Crowd: “USA…USA…USA…”
Charlene Ann: “From Morenci, Michigan, the Six Foot Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt and owner of the most lethal 4” stilettos there is- DAWN McGILL!
Suave’s voice: “They were wrong!”
Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE…I KNOW THAT MUSIC! NO WAY! THEY CAN’T BE HERE TONIGHT!”
German flags flew on the monitor. Kirsta and L-1 turn and can’t believe what they see. Bastian von Bismarck and Hans Wilhelm aka… Blitzkrieg Funk walking down the aisle towards the ring.
Suave: “I DON’T BELIEVE IT! THEY’RE HERE! THE WWR’S NUMBER ONE RANKED TAG TEAM, BLITZKRIEG FUNK!”
A referee slides into the ring and calls for the bell.
Suave: “THIS IS AMAZING! THE NUMBER ONE TAG TEAM AGAINST THE NUMBER ONE MEN’S AND WOMEN’S WRESTLERS.”
Blitzkrieg Funk bolted across the ring and it was on. Hans with a double axe-handle down across Level One’s back. Bastian sparring with the Hellcat.
Suave’s voice: “Tonight…
Suave appears on screen and turns to the camera.
Suave: “We’re going to do it again!”
WWR Supershow II- Christmas in the Caribbean
Grand Ballroom of the Puerto de Macoris Super 8 Motel
The Island of Puerto de Macoris
Sunday December 20th
Hosts: Johnny Suave and the “Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl” Tessa Martin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBQGeKcOGPk&feature=related
Suave: “HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE GRAND BALLROOM OF THE PUERTO DE MACORIS SUPER 8 MOTEL! I AM THE ‘VOICE OF P-C-W JOHNNY SUAVE…”
Suave: “…and this hot piece of cardboard next to me is my life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain. And the even hotter piece…
Tessa Martin: “Watch it, Johnny.”
Suave: “Of course, ‘The Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ herself, Tessa Martin. Nice Christmas photo by the way.”
Tessa: “Thanks Johnny. It would have been better had I not had the full length cast on my leg.”
Suave: “And how is it now?”
Tessa: “Much, much better. The surgery to remove the steel rods from my femur was successful and I finally got the cast off on Tuesday.”
Suave: “Getting ready to get back into the ring?”
Tessa: “No. I’m think I’m done, Johnny.
Suave: “For those of you who don’t know, Tessa had an unfortunate accident as part of an angle on Dream Wrestling Federation with Dawn McGill.”
Tessa: “Yeah, Dawn powerbombed me and the sheer force caused me to bounce up off the mat and right into the steel ringpost. Total accident but I think that was the final sign for me that I needed to get out of the ring for good.”
Suave: “All right. Tonight, seven matches on hand. But first, opening remarks from the Duly Elected Dictator of the Island of Puerto de Macoris, Generalissimo Tomas!”
Generalissimo Tomas
He’s wearing a blue denim shirt and crotch hugging shorts.
Genealissimo Tomas: “Good evening. I am Generalissimo Tomas. You can call me…Generalissimo Tomas. I am the duly elected dictator of the island of Puerto De Macoris and I welcome each and every one of you to our lovely island…of Puerto De Macoris. This all began when I, Generalissimo Tomas, ’secured’ the services of one, Dawn McGill aka the ’6 Foot Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt,’ McGillah Gorilla, the Jolly Pink Giant, for the NFW Bunkhouse Brawl match that has yet to air yet, and I’m contractually prohibited from discussing anything else about the match. You see, like the United States imperialist machine oppressors, due to the imperialist oppressing wrestling federations such as the FWO, ACW, LoC, and the NFW, or e-interfeds such as the “Experts”, E-Fed Knights, WfWA, or F-Wrestling who spew their propaganda about their superiority over other, how you say, lesser wrestling federations- such as the Puerto De Macoris Wrestling Federation, my personal favorite, I concorted an elaborate and downright brilliant plan to infiltrate the infidel, oppressing machine by bringing in someone with the ability to not only hold their own with the other, so-called champions in the NFW Bunkhouse Brawl, but win it as a tribute to those other federations, but especially the Puerto De Macoris Wrestling Federation, downtrodden, held down, and stepped upon by the imperialist pig elitists of the Experts, E-Fed Knights, WfWA, F-Wrestling, FWO, ACW, LoC, and the NFW. But I digress.”
Generalissimo Tomas looks down at his hands. He then pulls a bottle of sanitizer out of his pocket.
Generalissimo Tomas: “Just a second.”
He vigorously wipes his hands with the sanitizer. The Generalissimo then pulls out a tooth flossing ’sword’ off the bench and runs it through his teeth.
Generalissimo Tomas: “There. Much better. So, sit back. Enjoy your time down here in Puerto De Macoris. And let’s get the wrestling underway!”
A huge roar comes from the crowd.
Suave: “Here is tonight’s card.”
Match #1
The Drunken Luchadors (Dan and Don Martini)- Puerto de Macoris Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions vs.
The Goatbusters (Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman)- Political Championship Wrestling
Match #2
Aquina la Amazon de Amiga- PMWF Women’s Champion vs.
Jill-Berg- Missouri Valley Wrestling
Match #3
Charlie Blackwell- Dream Wrestling Federation vs.
Yamamoto Tanaka- PMWF Champion
Match #4
“The Grim Reaper Of Hostility” Steve Harrison- Hostility vs.
Mike Polowy- DWF
Match #5
WWR Tag Team # 6 The Egg Bandits (Cool Cancer Jiles and Doozer)- DWF Tag Team Champions vs.
WWR Tag Team #18 Angels of Death (Angel Casey and Angel Scott)- MVW Tag Team Champions
Match #6
WWR Women’s #6 Miss USA- MVW Champion vs.
WWR Women’s #1 Kirsta Lewis- VWF Lt. Heavyweight Champion, HOW
Match #7
WWR Tag Team #5 The Entourage- FWO Tag Team Champions vs.
WWR Tag Team #1 ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido/’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- PCW Tag Team Champions
Tessa: “It’s hard to believe that Escondido and Scott have made it all the way up to the #1 spot, Johnny.”
Suave: “They’ve benefitted from Blitzkrieg Funk leaving the country and the fact another tag team hasn’t really fill their void yet. But Escondido and Scott have a stiff test tonight in Spike Saunders and Callie Urban aka The Entourage- the former tag team champions from Fans Wrestling Organization.”
Match #1
The Drunken Luchadors (Dan and Don Martini)- Puerto de Macoris Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions vs.
The Goatbusters (Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman)- Political Championship Wrestling
*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*
If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)
Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Don’t get caught alone, oh no
(Goatbusters)
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
(Goatbusters)
Ow
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Ah, I think you better call
(Goatbusters)…
The Goatbusters, Peter Jenkman and Ray Scantz climb into the ring along with their manager, Argon. The ring announcer for the evening, PCW’s Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring.
Tessa: “Stop drooling, Johnny.”
Suave: “Sorry.”
Kimber: “Ladies and gentlemen, our first match is a one fall, thirty minute time limit. Already in the ring, from Political Championship Wrestling, Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman- they are the GOATBUSTERS!”
The crowd politely claps.
Kimber: “Their opponents-”
The crowd roars and stands up.
Kimber: “They are the Puerto De Macoris Tag Team Champions. Don Martini. Dan Martini. THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS!”
Don and Dan Martini stagger out from the back. Each has a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and an extremely glazed, but happy, look on their face. The Martinis hit the ring and bounce right off. Then they carefully climb into the ring. Both Martini Brothers chug down their bottle of Jack Daniels and then break the bottle over their heads.
Suave: “Yes, it’s a little unorthodox. But hell, they’re the champions. They can do whatever the hell they want.”
(the bell rings)
Scantz and Don Martini to begin. Crowd chants for the Drunken Luchadors. A brief lock up and an attempted knee by Scantz that whiffs because Don staggers out of the way. Scantz tries rights now, and then the boots…and misses again.
Suave: “Here we go again.”
Argon yells at Don Martini to stand still.
Suave: “Yeah, easier said than done.”
Scantz gets frustrated and rushes at Don. He clips the Drunken Luchador and sends him to the canvas. The Felchers cheer at the announcer’s table. Scantz goes for a leg drop but Dan Martini pulls Don out of the way.
Suave: “Apparently Dan is the more sober one tonight.”
A tag is made and Dan Martini gets into the ring. Scantz again tries to bull over Dan. Dan topples to the canvas and Scantz rams into the corner ringpost.
Suave: “Of course, I could be wrong.”
Scantz staggers back to his corner and tags in Jenkman. Dan Martini climbs to the top rope.
Suave: “Well, this can’t be a good thing.”
Jenkman simply waits. Dan leaps off the top rope and misses Jenkman completely.
Suave: “Definitely, not a good thing.”
Jenkman goes for the cover but somehow Dan kicks out. Jenkman slams Dan into the announce table. Scantz tries to slap Don sober… an impossibility metaphorically speaking. The Goatbusters doubleteam Don and then Dan. They set up a table, but Dan avoids it. Oh, but he turns right into an exploder into the opposite corner. Jenkman hits a double crossbody off the top. MICHINOKU DRIVER ON DAN! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Jenkman gets an awkward Tornado DDT. Scantz powerbombs Don on the table. Senton/Splash combo, but Dan makes the last-second save. The champs set up a double-decker of tables, and Jenkman hits his spiffy suicide dive through the corner into the Tornado DDT. Jenkman puts him on a table and puts him through with a splash off the top! Scantz slaps the Sharpshooter on Don.
Don slips out of Scantz’s grasp. Scantz drops him on his head. Don staggers up; Scantz superkicks him. He puts him on a table and goes up. Jenkman climbs up the opposite turnbuckle.
Suave: “Holy crap! They’re going to Cross the Streams!”
Tessa: “I was always told that was bad.”
Suave: “I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, “bad”?”
Tessa: “Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.”
Suave: “Total protonic reversal. Right. That’s bad.”
Both Scantz and Jenkman jump. Dan falls off the table, because he loses his balance and, well, he’s smashed. First Scantz and then Jenkman break the table in half.
Suave: “See? I told you Crossing the Streams was bad.”
The crowd starts singing drinking ditties. Scantz tries to lock up with Dan but it’s nearly impossible given the shape Martini’s in. Dan can barely stand up. Scantz gets an armbar but Dan tumbles to the canvas and accidently launches the Goatbuster into the corner turnbuckle. They attempt a series of mat wrestling maneuvers and reversals that totally break down because Dan can’t stand up. Finally, Jenkman goes ballistic and stomps a mudhole in Dan. Don Martini staggers in and attempts to lock in an armbar. Jenkman lifts him up and walks around with Don on his shoulders before slamming him down. Jenkman goes for a cover but he’s not the legal man in the ring. Scantz tags in Jenkman as Dan Martini tags in Don.
Jenkman fires off some lightning kicks and then locks in an armbar. Don flops to the canvas and accidently crotches Jenkman when his feet fly up after hitting the canvas. Jenkman reaches for the ropes to hold himself up. Don tries a single leg crab, but can’t co-ordinate his hands and legs allowing Scantz to charge in and break what hold there was. Scantz flips Dan into the ring and he and Jenkman set up a double tree of woe. Argon tosses in a couple of chairs and the Goatbusters place them in front of both Martinis. They attempt to finish off the Drunken Luchadors with a killer baseball slide drop kick! But both Goatbusters fall off the turnbuckle, flipping the chair up in the air into the face of both Goatbusters.
Suave: “WHAT A MOVE!”
The Goatbusters try to regroup. Don attempts an insane Asai Moonsault to the outside of the ring onto the Goatbusters. Except he misses. Badly. The Goatbusters just watch as Don lands hard on the floor a few feet away. Dan gets back in the ring but gets hung up in the ropes and falls out. Jenkman tries to lift Dan Martini back in the ring but the Drunken Luchador is dead weight. Instead, Jenkman sets up Dan in a camel clutch and tells Scantz to finish him off with a drop kick to the face. Scantz lines him up and charges. Dan somehow slips through Jenkman’s hands and Scantz drop kicks him in the groin.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Tessa: “That can’t feel good.”
Scantz stumbles backwards and accidently hits Dan in the stomach. Dan begins to wretch. Scantz tries to get away…can’t…and Dan spews green mist…no too chunky…projectile vomits all over Scantz.
“WOW!” Suave exclaims. “He must have ate a lot for supper tonight!”
Dan passes out and headbutts Scantz. Scantz down and covered by Drunken Luchador Dan. 1-2-3. Match over.
WINNER: Drunken Luchadors- Dan and Don Martini
